So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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