It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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