it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
