he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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