Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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