I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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