she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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