My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
