I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
