from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
