I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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