hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
