my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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