she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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