can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
