are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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