K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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