yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
