the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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