I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
