He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
