What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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