it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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