Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
