they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
