we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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