just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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