I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
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Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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