dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize
