she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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