She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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