We need to rekindle our bromance
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We left the knife in your bed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
