yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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