There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
