im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
