I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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