No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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