She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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