remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
