We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
