found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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