is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
