Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
