my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
