I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm too high and old for this...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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