if i can run in heels then i can drive
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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