I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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