butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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