There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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