I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All the doctor said was why
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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