I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize