i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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