i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
