3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he thought i was a dude.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize