We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
