this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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