Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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