Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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