I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
