so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
