I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My dick has a subreddit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
