I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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