so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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