He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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