She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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